Type the first line of a folk song into your phone and then let autocomplete write the second line for you.




I used "As I was going to Strawberry fair" the follow-on was "... last night and the first one was a bit of a mess but I thought it was refried beans."
My second go was "Blow the wind southerly" with the follow-on "... and the snow is going to be so cold today."

I think we can say that the songwriting profession is still safe!

Image by Aviavlad from Pixabay

Interesting concept, however I hope it refers to her name!!!!

Another Simon Drew card.

A card sent to Ian,
drawn by Simon Drewe (www.simondrew.co.uk/)

I'm obviously on a roll.

1. Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks.The other half with a drinking problem.
   
2. I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune, now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.
   
3. I need to practise social distancing with the fridge.
   
4. I still haven’t decided where to go in the morning – the living room or the bedroom.
   
5. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they still fit. Pyjamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
   
6. I don’t think anyone expected when we changed the clocks, we’d go from Standard Time to Twilight Zone.
   
7. This morning, I saw my neighbour talking to her cat again.It was obvious she thought her cat understood her.   When I got back in the house, I told my dog and we both laughed.
   
8. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.
   
9. I’m so excited when it’s time to take out the rubbish.   What should I wear?
   
10. Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under…
    

Keep Your Distance, Keep Healthy and  Keep Safe.

Enjoy! Laugh more!

•  2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people. 
  
• The world has turned upside down . Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors! 
• You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people home-schooled by day-drinkers… 
  
• This virus has done what no woman had been able to do …cancelled all sports, shut down all bars, and kept men at home!!! 
  
• Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighbourhood! They are your neighbours without makeup and hair extensions! 
  
• Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!” 
  
• Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands??? 
• I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6 foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are! 
• Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend? Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere. 
  
• I swear my fridge just said “what the hell do you want now?” 
• When this is over …what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA? 
  
• Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.
  

NOW..........go wash your hands!

She says "My sentiments exactly - without the cabbages".

You are a bus driver. At the first stop of the day, eight people get on board. At the second stop, four get off, and eleven get on. At the third stop, two get off, and six get on. At the fourth stop, thirteen get off, and one gets on. At the fifth stop, five get off, and three get on. At the sixth stop, three get off, and two get on. What colour are the bus driver's eyes?