From Richard - Update from Lancashire

I thought it time to add a little from far flung posts of Argus. If anyone noted my comment to Margaret's post some days ago then I'm sure they must be itching to know how to burn toast and fry an egg which  is sort of stuff we do  in this distant wilderness! Anyway, regardless, I'm happy to share my not insignificant experience in these matters.

To start , I want to remind you that the 5Ps rule applies here - Poor Preparation Prevents Perfect  Performance. So let's look at the preparation (noting that this exercise may be more pertinent to Tenors and Bass). We need to  be sure that all the necessary materials, other resources, tools and equipment  are available as well as relevant PPE and  safety instructions. 

1. Locate the kitchen - this may be an exhausting process but you may have stumbled on it by accident during the 'which-room-do-I-visit-today' phase of isolation. You may be able to  recognise it as there could be a cooker ( an electrical or gas powered device with maybe a few circular heating elements  of some nature on the upper horizontal  surface at working height) and/or a fridge (an important device which  keeps wine and beer cool). 

2.Toasting may be carried out in the grill section of the cooker described above or there could be an independent device standing somewhere on the worktops , usually having two bread slice sized apertures with a cage- like structure inside each and having a flex of about 3 feet with a plug on the end of that for connecting to the power outlets.

At this point go to  the fridge and take a glass of wine or a beer as you are most likely worn out  physically or mentally by these steps.

3. This step may be even more taxing than the last two  but it is essential then to locate a pan  ( typically a circular steel /aluminium or similar metal  device some one and a half inches deep, 10 inches or so in diameter, having a handle of similar length and no lid). Maybe this is lurking  behind a door of  the cooker (mentioned in step 1) or in some other cupboard in  the kitchen. (Good luck with the hunt). If you were lucky, then you know the whereabouts of the main equipment needed - have another beer or wine!

4. Now for  the required materials which will involve even more detective work. 
     4.1 For the toast you will require bread - you know what that is but where it is will be something of a secret - have a beer or some wine as it'll be some time before you locate from the myriad optional places available.
     4.2 For the fried egg you will need an egg - could be in the fridge or anywhere else for that matter and some oil or (preferably) some dripping neither of which will be tripped over readily.
More beer or wine is necessary.

5. To show willing don the relevant PPE as shown in the picture below, then have more beer and retreat for a well deserved snooze since the exertions up to now far  exceed the proscribed amount of exercise for one day.

I'll send the next set  of details when I'm sober.